


Defy Thy Fears

by charliebradcherry



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst and Tragedy, Cage Trauma, Hell, Lucifer is King of Hell, M/M, Mad Michael, Self-Blame, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-11
Updated: 2017-11-11
Packaged: 2019-01-31 23:43:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12692616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charliebradcherry/pseuds/charliebradcherry
Summary: Michael escapes the cage and turns up uninvited in Lucifer's throne room, looking like an absolute mess.





	Defy Thy Fears

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, my loves. It's been like... months since I last posted on here. I decided to pick up on my writing a little and happily did some Tumblr prompts. One anon requested me to do "Why do I love you?" Enjoy!

Lucifer is so baffled by the fact that his unbelievably demented older brother has found out how to _somehow_ escape the cage. He finds a way to turn up into the throne room with his garments ripped and his face covered in spots of dirt like a peasant. He looks like he’s out of breath, probably has been smiting a number of demons on his way here, his eyes shifting to every corner of the room with uneasiness and completely ignoring his brother, who’s sitting on the throne staring at him in utter confusion.

He means to ask how in the hell he got out, but he doesn’t. He’s stunned by the way Michael looks right now even if it shouldn’t be much of a surprise – he looks _awful_. Still, Lucifer doesn’t have it in him to make any witty remarks right about now.

“Do not,” Lucifer warns and raises his hand when one of his demons moves a step to take action and handle Michael–even though there is no way one would stand a chance against an almighty archangel as him.

The king doesn’t say more and relaxes back into his throne, cautiously watching the ‘intruder’ that had burst into his room uninvited. However, he decides that he isn’t running low on patience today, studying him from afar with squinting eyes and waits for Michael to catch his breath and become accustomed to his surroundings.

Once he does, he speaks.

“You,” Michael points at him with a shaky index finger. “You savagely cruel beast!”

“Good to see you too, brother of mine,” Lucifer jests and smirks.

“ _Monster!_ ”

“Hm, heard that one before. Lacks originality.”

“You _abandoned_ me in the cage, left me to rot mercilessly in there with nothing but endless torment. And I, the stupid fool that I was, thought you’d come back for me when you left but you didn’t. I _despise_ you.”

“Now, see–I had a pretty good reason for doing that, didn’t I?” Lucifer stands up from his throne, feeling up for debate and slowly walks down the stairs to meet Michael face to face. “If memory serves, all those years ago you said that it was your destiny to slay me just as Father said. And when the time came and we stood toe to toe in that cemetery, and I offered you a chance to stand by me, you refused. You simply paid your debts.”

“How dare you speak to me this way. Have you forgotten who you are, Lucifer? What you planned to do to this world?” Michael says bitterly, fuming from the inside. “You plotted an apocalypse! Total demolition to something that Raphael, Gabriel and we both worked so hard on along with our Father! A legacy of our family!”

“And that was supposed to stop me from destroying it because…?”

“So you really _are_ that cold-hearted!”

“In my defense, you’ve all betrayed me!” Lucifer yells, throwing his hands up into the air. “You expect me to stop and reminiscent of the past and then decide not go through with it because we were such an apple pie family back in the day?”

Michael glares at him and sneers angrily. He wants to lunge forward and kill him with that bit of excitement pumping inside of him, Lucifer knows his brother better than anyone.

“Maybe if you _knew_ what love was, you would’ve.”

When the last word tumbles from his mouth, he gets shoved back so hard by an invisible force of energy that he nearly falls backward. Lucifer growls, breathing erratically when Michael dusts himself a little.

“Like you were ever that warm-hearted, Michael. After my fall, I prayed to you when the cage tormented me, I sat on my knees with my head between my hands, not knowing what to do but thinking about you! I gave you my trust and you stomped on it, even after I had offered definite peace on that field,” he reminds him, his finger sharply pointed in his big brother’s way. “And after all that time I thought you’d changed, but you hadn’t. Not a single bit, big brother.”

“Admit it. You only wanted me back because you wanted revenge on Father, nothing more.”

“That is not so.”

“Quit lying, you know it’s true,” Michael speaks gently this time, slowly walking back to his previous place after having been pushed back by Lucifer’s grace. “You would have continued bringing the apocalypse… even me being on your side wouldn’t have changed your corrupted mindset.”

The ruler of Hell bows his head, and sniggers. “Oh, we could do this all day.”

There is nothing funny about this, nothing at all. This had been weighing down on the both of them for ages and there would come no end to it, no matter how long they argued about it. The feeling of betrayal would stay for centuries. To scream at it each other about their anathematized lives was like a hunger, and they could only be satisfied for a moment only to feel the need to do it again later on because it was like an instinct. That they could cope with what they had endured for so many years. They’d done this so many times in the cage before—it was an endless loop of arguing and thrashing.

“If you really think that I am the monster, then think again,” Lucifer says, raising his chin defiantly. “Did your so-called lord and savior save your ass after having been so obedient and righteous as He wanted you to be?”

Michael avoids his gaze then, and Lucifer thinks his patience is starting to fall off the radar after all.

“He leaves you behind like you are nothing but an obsolete toy to him and you are left with the blame because you think it is right to punish yourself. How half-witted do you have to be to not be able to see how wrong that is?”

“I failed to execute my duty. Maybe I just lacked the discipline… It is not **His** fault. It is on me.”

“For Heaven’s sake, Michael! You fucking idiot!” Lucifer bows back and laughs maniacally, _bitterly_ , like he’s beginning to lose his mind. “I seriously am starting to think that the cage guided you into retardation – I defied my fears, you must defy yours! The first step you take is acceptance. The blame isn’t on you, it is on Father for being an irresponsible douchebag and we deserved better than this.”

“Defy my fears?” the elder archangel whispers to himself. “ _Deserved_ _better_?”

“You must believe that!” Lucifer all but screams and the walls tremble with vehemence. “For _me_.”

And suddenly, it’s all just a little bit too much to handle, way too much – perhaps the temperature in the throne room is getting higher, or he himself is glowing like the sun. Either way, Michael doesn’t know, but he teeters on spot and he can’t think straight anymore because there is a sudden dizziness to him; he hears voices, the tittering of lost souls in the ninth circle, he’s losing vision and it’s like he’s falling into a void of confusion.

Lucifer loses all of his anger and narrows his eyebrows at the way his brother sways a little and looks into the empty. There is an odd change to him, that is obvious.

Michael bares his teeth in frustration and forces his eyes shut, puts his hands in his disheveled raven hair, nails clawing at his skull to draw blood at the sensitive skin and Lucifer watches intently for a moment because it is such a familiar act. No–he has done it several times himself. He _understands_ that feeling of dread and desperation, the need to know if this is still reality and to simultaneously punish himself by perceiving pain. It is like a curse.

“You are mad, brother,” Lucifer murmurs, his voice tranquil and his eyes soft. He carefully reaches out and grabs one of Michael’s arms to make him stop doing this to himself.

But there is an expression so innocent and heartbreaking on Michael then, when his eyes open and they shimmer, his face flushed and wet from the warm tears cascading down his cheeks that are eventually being wiped away by one of Lucifer’s cool hands. He looks so naive this way, so young and afraid and _lord be damned_ – he has a strong desire to lean in and kiss his kin until he’d crumble into his arms.

He doesn’t, though. The Morningstar just stares at him, eyes brimming with warmth and the much reassurance that he has left, and Michael’s breathing slows down to normal as they keep their eyes locked on each other.

He asks, still a little out of breath, “Why do I love you?”

Lucifer smiles genuinely at him for the first time in forever.

“Because, _that_ was our destiny. It always was.”


End file.
